Disclaimer: this post is based on real-life proposals by a real-life politician. It isn’t a satirical piece.
Prior to the referendum, people thought there was no Brexit plan. Well, turns out we were mistaken all along! This week, the UK government announced that tea, jam and biscuit will be at the centre of the UK’s trade strategy post-Brexit. Oh yeah.
Speaking in Paris, capital of my homeland France where the word ‘biscuit’ was invented, Environment Minister Andrea Leadsom unveiled plans to export the foods and drinks to bring a much-needed economic boost, which has seen the Pound collapse since June.
Leadsom hopes this will bring £2.9bn to the UK economy over five years, tapping into nine markets across 18 countries. This includes an extra £185m in exports to Japan, and almost £300m to Australian and New Zealand.
Naturally, the ludicrous ‘proposal’ has been slated on social media, and Twitter in particular. I’ll let the tweets do the talking.
— Marie-Ann (@MarieAnnUK) October 19, 2016
Britain’s Brexit plan is to sell PG Tips to India, Penguins to Antactica and Bonne Maman to France. Good job.https://t.co/lgtY3jDJh5
— Citizen of nowhere (@iamsammypanther) October 19, 2016
So Britain’s Brexit plan is to sell jam and tea, to think I had no faith in the government Its obviously being run by scholars and academics
— My Name Is… (@ItsFahimaa) October 19, 2016
*99% of the world* Guys, this is a really bad idea. You should recons…
*Brexiteers* WE WILL SELL JAM AND CAKES
— 黒鏡 (@mynameiskane) October 19, 2016
“British tea (from India, China, Kenya…) jam (fruit from?) and biscuits (French word) will be at the heart of Britain’s Brexit trade plans”
— Niall (@Notinaboyband) October 19, 2016
Britain’s Brexit Plans in full:
1.) Hold a bake sale.
— John (@TweetJohnDM) October 19, 2016
Britain’s Brexit could always sell bottled rain
— Isaac Hunt (@_Isaac_Hunt_) October 19, 2016
So Britain’s Brexit will be built on exporting tea? Don’t we have to import the tea first though? And then find people who actually want it?
— John Shafthauer (@hourlyterrier) October 19, 2016